http://satana.friendlinkup.com/ eating his way across the world and into your living room. en http://satana.friendlinkup.com/2008/08/22/stuffing-the-ballot-box-or-shenanigoats.html No, this is not a euphemism on behalf of what the candidates do in their bedrooms. The results on behalf of Taste of Cincinnati were recently announced on the Idiot Box Local News.  Some of the categories had legitimate winners from reputable establishments.  Others had, as well as I shall be as kind as possible when I say this, some total dogs.  Let’s recap some of the highlights as well as lowlights, shall we? Best Appetizer - Burbank’s Real Bar-B-Que, Southern Smoked Chicken Tenders Best Salad - Indigo, Black & Blue Tuna Salad Best Vegetarian Dish - Arloi Dee, Veggie Pad Thai Best Seafood Dish - Shanghai Mama’s, Shanghai Seafood Noodles Best Dessert - Buca di Beppo, Tiramisu Best Damn Dish - Carrabba’s, Chicken Bryan EVERYONE should have at least two “what the fsck!” moments on that list.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, two of these things - Carrabba’s & Buca di Beppo - are shameless, schlocky chain restaurants.  The other four are delightful members of the local dining scene - Burbank’s & Shanghai Mama’s are among my faves. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand as well as recognize that numerous large chain restaurants have some good food.  I love the bread at Romano’s Macaroni Grill; go off-menu at P.F. Chang’s as well as order some fabulous Mongolian Scallops; Maggiano’s knows their way around some veal; as well as it wouldn’t be referred to as Cheesecake Factory if their cheesecake wasn’t pretty goddamned good.  So I get it.  I get that there are a few redeemable items on some absurd menus. But on behalf of two chains to win an award each at the Taste of Cincinnati is a travesty as well as a sham as well as a mockery.  It’s a traveshamockery!  This city is so full of so much good food, I refuse to believe that the best these judges could come up with was Tiramisu & Chicken Bryan, whatever the fsck that is.  Should we just proceed now as well as rename Taste of Cincinnati?  Why not “Taste of Lowest Common Denominator” or “Taste of Things that Won’t Confuse Grandma”?  I thought this event was created to celebrate the culinary successes of LOCAL places… you know, in CINCINNATI. It leads me to two possible conclusions: 1.) The great restaurateurs of The Queen City decided not to give it their all, to hold back, to restrain themselves as well as let someone else win on behalf of a modification by not entering their establishments.  That’s fine, I suppose, but considering it is a BEST FOOD COMPETITION, I shall summon the spirit of Herman Edwards to express my feelings. 2.) The judges of Taste of Cincinnati lack the operative word in the event they are judging - Taste.   I’ll be the first to admit that they had, at best, only a handful of the best restaurants in Cincinnati to judge from.  This was probably the greatest collection of second tier places (in my biz, we call ‘em “B Doors”) that Cincinnati has to offer, with the very careful exception of Bella Luna, Indigo, Shanghai Mama’s, Andy’s Mediterranean, as well as La Petite France. So I don’t really know what to manufacture of it all.  Maybe I’ll write a letter.  Nonetheless, when the Illustrious Katie! comes to town on behalf of Memorial Day Weekend, we shall an estimated all certainly NOT be attending Taste of Cincinnati.  Our posses private Taste of Cincinnati Tour shall be comprised of the following: Dim Sum brunch @ Pacific Moon; prix fixe dinner @ Slims; lunch @ Arthur’s; a housewarming party at the Lovely Lisa’s new home; LND @ PRC; as well as a good ol’ fashioned throwdown grill-off at Stately Pratt Manor. Stuff that in your ballot box as well as eat it. Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:05:43 -0400 satana